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Healing by Adding
—Many of us struggle to change things that cause us pain, that limit us, that keep us trapped in the same patterns. We do the same thing again and again. We have the same kind of relationships. We...
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The Gifts of Loving
—She asked me what I get from loving her?It took a while for me to understand what she was asking.Not why do I love her, not what about her do I love?What do I get from loving her, what are the gifts...
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The Pleasure Communication
—Touching, kissing, caressing, sensual experience, and sex are all a communication.What are you saying in this communication?Is it a conversation, a dialogue, a monologue?How do you listen during this...
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The Unspoken Conversation
—I went to a Constellation workshop last week. I understand the work to be about family patterns that we carry, unresolved issues, energies that our parents or previous generations carried, never...
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Sex and Sensuality as a Practice
—During one of my workshops in Cape Town a while ago a beautiful idea emerged.Sex and sensuality as a practice.It came out of a discussion of the purpose of sex, why we have sex, and the possibilities...
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Stay Connected
—I love you, and I’m angry, or hurt, or frustrated or whatever, and I want to stay connected and work this out.Can there be more than one emotion in one place at one time?Can I feel my anger, and know...
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Massage and Touch
—On my Sensual Massage retreat last weekend someone asked a fascinating question, ‘What’s the difference between massage and touch?’As I spoke about it, I realized how much there was to say.The first...
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Conscious Quiet
—Most of our communication is not verbal.All of our communication is energy.So…Come, my love.Come and let us sit in the quiet, in the conscious quiet.In the quiet, we’ll go within, and we’ll learn to...
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Lesson 1 in Sacred Sex
—We’d been eating on the patio, an early supper tonight. The sun was just setting in a clear sky that slowly darkened. Shades of blue that gradually changed to night in an almost imperceptible...
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Just Because You Have Orgasms
—Just because you’re having orgasms, does not mean that you’re sexually fulfilled.Often orgasms are a result of the right touch, the right stimulation. They’re more about the physical stimulus and...
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3 Categories of Male Sexual Disorientation
♦◊♦Most men have no idea of the true power of sex.Most of us use orgasm as a means to merely release tension in the body, to get out of our heads for a few minutes and relax our restless brains.We too...
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Sensation is the Doorway to Emotion
—The deeper we go into the body, the deeper we go into the emotion.As we explore the subtlety and nuance of sensation, we explore the expanse of emotion.Our emotional landscape is endless. The horizon...
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The Paradox of Pleasure
—I was struck by an incredible paradox we’ve created that impacts on female sexuality.There is an amazing focus on female sexuality and women’s pleasure in the media. You can’t look at a magazine...
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The Healing Of The Deep Erotic Space
—The Deep Erotic Space is an experience of energy, sexual energy, vitality, life-force.It’s a space of the connection between the body and the heart.It’s a space of deep relaxation and release.It’s a...
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Changing Ourselves, Changing Our World
—Monsters abound in our world.They always have, they always will.But none are as terrible as we, for what we do to ourselves.For what we deny ourselves.We deny ourselves consciousness,for it’s easier...
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Our Need of Touch
—“Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.”~C G JungMy mind can speak only to your mind.My thoughts can speak only to your thoughts.My mind cannot speak to...
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Lesson 2 in Sacred Sex
—One night I asked her how many lovers she’d had.She teased me first, do you men and women she said.I was shocked at the number she told me.How can that be sacred I asked?She nodded, that’s an...
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Making More Love
—The sexual paradigm that so much of the Western world lives with is essentially a Porn–based model. It’s extremely genital; it’s goal-oriented, it’s about performance and achievement, it’s incredibly...
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Quiet Lingam, the Gentle Love
—It’s an energy penetration.It’s a heart penetration.It’s gentle, it’s soft, it’s slow.And it’s deep.For so many men it’s new.And it’s confusing.It’s not about performance, it’s not about hard, it’s...
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Natural Connection
—Much of healing is about connection.Connecting with parts of ourselves we’ve been disconnected from through stress, trauma, and judgment. Connecting with parts of ourselves we’ve disconnected...
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